


HEIMAT.

by jhsdhalr



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2012-10-18
Packaged: 2017-11-14 18:01:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/518004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jhsdhalr/pseuds/jhsdhalr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a sequel to ''In the still of the Night'' and ''Seeing is Believing''. It's an AU and it might be helpful to read those stories first.</p><p>Warning: this story contains M/M sex, violence, character deaths and Cannibalism.</p><p>There are sections without punctuation. This is a stylistic device.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. "It's a TARDIS!" I shout.

I am living with Ianto in his apartment. It's a small place but we're not in it a great deal so it doesn't matter. It has a very large bed and we spend a lot of our time when we're here in the bed. I actually sleep here too! I'm happy with Ianto, but lately I've started to feel a certain restlessness that is impossible to really explain. I have been thinking about home. My home, 51st Century style. I never thought much about it until Arliss, my brother, came briefly back into my life. Now I'm with Ianto and he talks about home and family and I know I will never see any of mine again. I find it difficult to talk about these feelings. I am afraid Ianto will think I'm not happy with him when I am. I just wish I could go home for a visit the way other people do.

It's Tuesday afternoon and we've spent the morning capturing a Weevil that has been literally terrorizing Caerleon. It's a large male and we had to sedate him very heavily as he was amazingly strong even for a Weevil. I went down to look at him a few moments ago and he was awake and quiet. He was sitting still and silent and I looked through the bars of the Cell at him and he looked back at me and something weird happened. I suddenly felt a wave of sadness coming from him to me. It was unmistakable. I felt it strongly and I knew he had arrived here by mistake and wanted, no longed, to go home, and like me he never will.

There is, I feel, something seriously wrong with a man who experiences a moment of rapport with a Weevil. I'm worried. I sit in my office and have a talk with myself. I should be grateful that my life is going so well, I think, and that I have Ianto. I must stop this idiotic longing for things that will never be. I'm here in the 21st Century and here I shall stay. I shall still be here in the 22nd too. I have to accept it. Then Tosh reports that a strange object has landed on the M4 Motorway just outside of Newport. This is good, I think. Work is good; it distracts me from thinking about myself.

The object in question proves to be a large completely black block of some unknown material. The Army are swarming all over it when we arrive on the scene but I soon take control and after ascertaining that the object is not an immediate threat to life and limb {at least, not in any way our technology can recognize}, we send it back to the Hub. I am eager to examine the thing. I have never seen anything quite like it before.

Back at the Hub, tests reveal nothing. The object seems to have no purpose, yet we're sure it's man made and must have been intended to do something. We all eventually end up standing around it staring at it.

"The only thing it really seems to do is act as a mirror" says Gwen at last.

"Why should anyone make a large mirror in the shape of a cube?" Owen moans "it'd take up so much space. You could never have it in an ordinary house."

"The people who made it aren't necessarily the same size as us" says Tosh.

"Humanoids are probably incapable of growing taller than 9 feet" says Owen "and the few that have got over 8 foot high experienced numerous health problems. The further your brain is from your feet, for example, the more difficult it becomes to process sensory information about the lower extremities."

"And?" says Gwen.

Owen laughs. "Your feet could fall off before you notice" he says.

"People" I inform my Team "whatever their size or shape, don't usually make something for no reason at all. If it doesn't do anything it must have been considered to be art."

"A big black cube is art?" Gwen sighs "now I've heard everything."

"Art" Owen tells us "can be anything."

This is true, I think. I've seen some very strange things that people called art. I stand and stare at the cube as the others drift back to their work stations and start on other things. I move slowly around it looking at my reflection as I walk about. As I reach the second corner I suddenly notice something. I walk back and try it again. Yes, it isn't my imagination. At this particular corner there is a visual anomaly. When I reach it and stand directly facing the corner I can see a very small grey colored spot just where my left eye is. I stand motionless and stare at the spot. I hear footsteps behind me and turn my head and there is Ianto.

"What are you looking at, Jack?" he asks.

"If you stand here you can see a spot on the surface of the cube" I tell him" try it, I don't think I'm seeing things."

He moves into position and looks at the spot I indicate. After a moment he says in an excited voice "yes, I see it, just there" and he points at the place.

"I wonder what it's there for" I mutter.

"It might be just a mistake" Ianto muses "the maker made an error, that's all."

"It could have come from any century for all we know" I say to him "even the 51st. It may have traveled through time. If it could talk, think of the stories it could tell us."

"You tell enough stories of your own" says Ianto, grinning "I don't like the thought of a talking cube, thank you very much."

At this moment Tosh suddenly comes over to us. She stands and looks at the cube. She sighs. "It isn't a perfect cube, you know" she says finally "here" she indicates the corner where Ianto and I have seen the anomaly, "it's slightly---out."

"There's a grey spot there too" I tell her "It's only visible if you stand in a certain position."

Tosh looks where I indicate. She looks excited. I can't understand why. Then she does the oddest thing. She stands directly in front of the anomaly, lifts one arm and simply waves her hand past the spot. There is a loud grinding noise and the entire side of the cube slides open revealing a pitch black interior. I lean inside and the cube is immediately bathed inside and out with a bright blue light that makes me screw up my eyes. I don't understand why Tosh is able to do this when everyone has been touching the damn thing for ages. There's no sound from inside so I draw my gun, take a deep breath and step in. Then-----then-----I'm in a HUGE room with two doors leading out of it. Ordinary looking doors too. I'm quickly joined by Ianto and Tosh and then Gwen as well. I can see Owen standing in the doorway. He looks suspicious. He isn't coming in.

"It's a TARDIS!" I shout, walking around the room and looking at the instrument panel in the center and the equipment on the walls "it's fantastic!"

"Yeh" I hear Owen groan from outside "now come out all of you before some seriously weird shit happens."

"It's just like the Dr's" I say "I know how to control it, as far as it can be controlled."

"You mean we could travel through time in this thing?" asks Gwen "see what's going to happen in the future or look at the past?"

"Yes" I tell her, and even as I speak a thought inevitably crosses my mind. I might be able to visit home. I might go HOME in this thing if I can work out how to do it. I might see Pa and Father again and everyone. I could even go back to before Arliss left and stop him leaving so he doesn't die. I feel almost dizzy with the thought. I stand in front of the controls and tentatively press a button. I'm not intending to actually try to go anywhere right this moment. I'm just--hell- I'm just being an idiot. I hear Tosh cry out and on the wall in front of me a panel appears. A series of numbers begins to flash rapidly across it. They move rapidly upwards. At the same moment there is a loud, a very loud grating noise and the opening in the cube starts to slide shut. I look around in time to see Owen jump inside. Which is a surprise. Then all hell breaks loose and the cube starts to emit the most horrendous scraping, banging and crashing noises I've ever heard and it begins to vibrate faster and faster and shake violently and a high pitched whine deafens me and I fall over onto the floor with my hands over my ears and the others are falling down too and the noises and vibration increase and increase and the numbers flash faster and faster and I look up and see them moving and getting higher and higher and then they start to slow down and I watch them slowing and slowing and slowing--------5065-5066-5067-5068-5069-5070-5071-------and ---and ----stop. Everything is silent except for the sound of five people breathing heavily. I sit up and look at the number. 5071. I'm in my own time. MY TIME. MY OWN TIME!!!!!


	2. 5071

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and the Team meet Jack's Family.

We have traveled forward in time and it's now the year 5071. I don't know what month it is, and anyhow we can't find out how to leave this traveling cube we're in. We've spent the last hour trying to get out with no success at all. Owen is particularly irritated.

"How the fuck did you get it open?" he moans.

"Tosh waved her hand" says Gwen.

"I've tried everything" Tosh sighs "and nothing works."

I stand up and glare at the walls. "O.K." I say "you've had your fun, now let us out." As I expect nothing happens, "please" I add. Immediately, and to my utter amazement, the wall opens with the usual grinding noises. I look out and see we seem to be inside a large empty room. The walls are made of a shiny metal, the name of which I feel I ought to know, but I've been away a long time and I've forgotten what it's called. I step out into the room, followed by my team. In the far corner of the room is a door. I go toward it slowly, listening for any noises. I can't hear anything but our breathing. There is no visible means of opening the door but when I touch it it slides open right away. I look out at a long empty corridor. Everything is still and quiet. It's unnerving.

We return to the cube and search it for anything that might be of use to us. When we've all got something to use as a weapon we venture out into the corridor and look for more doors. There is only one. It's at the far end of the corridor. I touch it and we go through to the other side and find ourselves in a huge field covered in red flowers. The plants are around 12 inches high and have a strong and very unpleasant smell. Some of them are going to seed and small green fruits like crinkled tomatoes are starting to form.

"Dip fruit" I tell the others "its years since I last saw these. They're edible even when they're small like this. They taste nice. The flowers just smell a bit."

"A BIT!" exclaims Owen "THEY STINK!"

"Why are they called Dip fruit?" asks Tosh, plucking one and examining it carefully.

"I've no idea" I answer "why is anything called anything?"

We stride through the field and Tosh and I eat some of the fruit. It melts in my mouth and brings back memories of childhood days with Arliss. The juice runs over my tongue and I feel suddenly ecstatically happy. I feel I could fly I'm so delighted with this simple fruit. I grab hold of Ianto and we let the others walk ahead of us. I feed him a fruit. He licks the juice off my fingers. We grin at each other idiotically. I'm so happy at this moment I feel I could do anything, even die. "I love you" I mouth at him and he whispers it back to me. I want to sing and shout and turn cartwheels. I'm home and I know this field. I KNOW IT, and I know the building too and in the distance, through the trees, I can see the shining outlines of my home town.

"Jake Hansbury" I say to Ianto "this field belongs to Jake Hansbury and the building is a folly. We used to call it Jake's Tower." We look back at the building. We are in brilliant sunshine and the building is so bright and shiny it makes my eyes hurt to look at it. I see the others are nearly at the far end of the field. It used to be the only green space for miles. It's a huge field and is surrounded by enormous trees. Ianto and I hurry and catch the others up and as we reach the trees I see the buildings of my home town shining in the sunlight. I hurry out of the field and find myself in Hughen Street. I recognize it instantly. I left here in 5053 and it's now 5071 but it hasn't changed much.

"Hughen Street" I say to my companions "home's not far. Let's go." I want to run but I restrain myself and walk in a dignified manner. There are a lot of people about and many of them give us strange looks as we walk along. I feel conspicuous in my long coat and very hot too. I remove my coat and carry it, but I'm aware that we all look weird. Ten minutes later we turn into Graspt Road and I stop in front of the apartment block numbered 46-89. The doors of the block open as we approach and it's cool and peaceful inside. We enter elevator number 7 and I say aloud "Floor 10" and up it goes rapidly, leaving my stomach back on the ground. We lived in apartment 83 and I hope my family is still there.

A moment later I'm outside number 83 with my Team hovering uncertainly behind me. There is the old familiar bell push just where it always was. The most old fashioned thing in the entire town, it is a genuine antique that Father found in a garbage heap. I push it and after a moment the door opens and there stands Father. His hair is white but apart from that he seems to me to be hardly changed at all. He and I stand and stare at one another. For a moment I think that he doesn't recognize me. Then his face spreads open in a huge smile and he pulls me into a hug, kissing my cheeks and holding me so tightly I can hardly breathe.

"Arlen" he says at last, releasing me from the hug and holding me literally at arms length so he can look me over, "Arlen my son, you've come home. You're home after all these years."

"Yes" I say and suddenly my eyes fill with tears and I can hardly see him any more. Behind him other figures appear. It seems the whole gang is here. Through my tears I see Mom and Pa and even my Great Grandfather Arlen who I was named for. I'm amazed he's still alive as he must be well over 100 years old now. I'm almost pulled into the apartment and my team is left outside wondering what to do. "Father" I manage to say "I didn't come alone. I've friends with me."

A half hour later we're all inside and sitting down. The place seems hardly changed. It still looks old fashioned and crowded. Everywhere I look there's furniture and the walls are covered with paintings and the very common 3 dimensional pictures that we called dimoes. Mom brings us glasses of fruit wine, which, despite its name, isn't actually alcoholic. I haven't tasted any for years and I'd also forgotten that Mom's favorite was green.

"Where's Arliss?" I ask at last, as I can't figure out if he should be here now or if he'd left before this time.

"He left home and went to look for you" says Pa "I take it he didn't find you?"

I can't tell them that Arliss is dead and that he died 3000 years before he was born. It's too much. I really hoped I'd see him. I wonder how much Pa and Father know about their sons activities. It's strange too for Pa to even be here, since he and Father separated before I left home. I can't understand why he and Father and Mom are all here together. Pa seems totally unchanged and I notice that Ianto is staring at him with unabashed curiosity. I feel I can't suddenly start to tell him about my relations now I'm here with them. The resemblance between Pa and myself is obvious even to me. I am made in his image; even our eyes are the same pale blue.

I finally get around to introducing my companions and Father then introduces himself and the rest of the family. I know they wont understand what he says so I translate his words into 21st century English for them. I don't even try to explain my family set up to them. They wouldn't understand why I have two fathers and a mother all at the same time. Genetically I'm the son of Father and Pa but Mom gave birth to me because Pa couldn't. I used to call Pa Daddy when I was young but Father always called him your Pa when he spoke of him to me. It's confusing." I'm Arlen's Father" he says, he indicates Pa by a wave of his hand "this is Jomah and this is Annalee and this is my Grandfather Arlen." He turns to me and smiles "I guess you're wondering why we're all together this way, aren't you, son?"

"Yes" I say "I was." It's a long time since I heard the 51st century's version of English. I'd forgotten that it sounded so different to 21st century English. I feel like I'm speaking a foreign language and not very well at that. I know Ianto, Gwen, Owen and Tosh don't understand what anyone here is saying, I can tell by the expressions on their faces. I remember my first attempts to understand 20th Century English and how confused I was by the fact that written down, it looked just the same as my own version.

"We're all living together now" says Father calmly "there's a terrible shortage of apartments and Grandfather couldn't stay on his own anyhow."

"You're all living together" I echo stupidly, trying not to look too shocked "I mean, you and Pa and Mom are--- living together--like--together?"

Father, Pa and Mom all laugh. Father sighs. "Where have you been all this time, Arlen?" he asks "in a hole in the ground? Of course we're together. It's great fun too." He actually winks at Pa. I can't believe it. The three of them--together. I try to picture them all in one huge bed and having sex and fail. Mom gets up then.

"You can stay here, Arlen" she says "we'll squeeze you in somehow but your friends---I don't know where they'll go. Have you got any credit?"

"No" I mumble "none at all."

Mom groans. "You haven't changed at all, have you?" she complains "you never did have any credit. I could never figure what you did with it all. Arliss, now. He's a saver that boy. Always has plenty."

I can hardly believe that I've only been home for a short while and Mom is already comparing me unfavorably with Arliss. Things have evidently not changed a bit here.

"Have your friends any credit?" she asks "they're very quiet. Not like you to have quiet friends."

"They don't speak English" I explain" and no, they don't have any credit either. None of us have any. We--err--came here in a bit of a rush."

"You aren't wanted by the Law, are you?" asks Pa, looking worried.

"NO" I shout "WE'RE NOT."

"Arlen" snaps Mom "don't shout!."

I stand up. "We're going now" I say " all of us. I hope you enjoy your threesome." I wish that I hadn't come here. Nothing has changed. Mom still prefers Arliss to me even though he isn't even here. I feel a childish rage coming over me which I can't fight off. Father stands up too and grabs my hand.

"We'll all go out for a meal" he says quickly "don't go off like this. It doesn't matter if you haven't any credit. We all love you and we're happy your home."

Mom suddenly looks somewhat ashamed to my surprise. Then she springs a real shock on me. "I'm sorry, Arlen" she says "of course we're all pleased your home. Your Father's right. You belong here. You must stay. You and your friends. We'll fit you all in somehow." She actually smiles at me. Then she sighs and adds. "But please, Arlen, change your clothes. We have a lot of Arliss's clothing which will fit you and your friends too, probably. You can't go out to dinner looking like you do. Where have you been to buy clothing like that? I've never seen anything so strange in my life."

As a result of this conversation, Father, Pa and Mom find a whole mess of spare clothing , and me and my team are left in the main bedroom to sort through it. It's all so light. Not just in color, but in weight too. I'd forgotten that aspect of life as well. Owen is particularly irritated by the clothing. He holds up an all in one garment in a pale yellow color and looks at it in disgust. It has no buttons or zip fasteners and no obvious means of putting it on. I know it will stretch to fit him though. I just know it will. Then it'll mold itself to his body.

"I can't go out in this!" Owen moans loudly.

Gwen laughs. "Very nice color" she says "you'll look like a chick."

She and Tosh seem quite happy with the long flowing dresses in violet and pale grey that Mom has found for them to wear. I have to admit too that the dresses look great. Tosh twists round and round in hers admiring the way it floats around her. Gwen keeps feeling the material of hers. Owen goes into the tiny adjoining room where Gwen and Tosh changed their clothing to try to put on his chick costume. Gwen and Tosh return to the main room of the apartment leaving Ianto and I alone for the first time in what seems like ages. I'd like to kiss him and throw him on the floor and make mad love to him but I just say "what are you going to wear, Ianto?"

"I thought this green" he says, holding up a similar garment to Owens.

"Oh Yeh" I murmur. I can't help myself, he looks so good to me, standing there holding the green suit up against himself, that I go to him and put my arms around him and kiss him thoroughly. He kisses me back right away and we stand in the bedroom in a tight embrace. Despite the presence of Owen only a short distance away I start to get hard. I press against Ianto and kiss his neck and left ear. He has great ears. I love his ears. I feel him getting hard as well and I want him so badly I can hardly breathe. I break away from him reluctantly, my breath coming in harsh pants.

"We can't" I gasp "this place is full of people."

"I don't care" he says boldly "where the fuck is the bed in here?"

"It's in the wall" I tell him "stand back." I press the switch on the wall for the bed and it emerges slowly and quietly from the wall. There is no bedding or sheets. There's no need. Almost everything is automatic here. Ianto grabs me and pulls me onto the bed with him and starts to kiss me and undo my pants all at the same time. I help him push them down and watch as he does the same with his. I pull off my boots with the laces still tied up and kick off my pants. Conscious of the need for speed I drag off my underpants and watch as Ianto mirrors my actions. We lie together on the bed and Ianto rolls over on top of me and we press against one another. We set up a regular and rhythmic rubbing. I can feel Ianto's hot breath on my face and his cock hard and hot against mine. We roll about on the bed, groaning and panting and gasping. I hear over the noise we're making the sound of Owen returning to the room. I speed up my movements and I can feel I'm getting near. "Ianto!" I cry out as my body convulses and I come hard and I feel Ianto coming too and we shake against one another and I feel his come mingling with mine hot and sticky on my body and it's great.

"Thanks for the show" I hear Owen say. I look around and see him standing by the door to the dressing room.

Ianto glares at him. "Oh fuck off, Owen" he says.

Then the other door opens and to my horror, Mom looks in. "Aren't you ready y----" she starts to say. She breaks off and her head promptly disappears again. I hear her voice from behind the now almost shut door. "When you and your friends are ready, Arlen" she says "we'll all go to dinner."

Oh fuck, I think. Fuck, fuck, fuck.


	3. Dinner.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone goes out to dinner and Jack gets dunk.

Dinner with my family and my team turned out to be a seriously weird experience. Just getting to the restaurant was an event in itself. We left the apartment block at 20.10 and walked around one corner. Then we got into an elevator situated there. {Except it wasn't an elevator, it was a transportation device.} It was a bit crushed inside with all 9 of us in there but we squeezed in somehow, Father pressed a couple of buttons, there was a brief whirring noise, and then the door slid open and we got out and found ourselves on the other side of town. I had forgotten this method of getting about.

The restaurant was just a step away and so we all went in and headed straight for the bar. Father ordered Champagne, which cost a small fortune, and made Mom irritated, but she just pursed her lips and said nothing. I could tell she thought Father was being unnecessarily extravagant though. When we went in for dinner Father ordered chicken for all of us. I went with him to help choose the birds. Chicken cost a fortune again and this made Mom even more irritated, but she still said nothing though.

The chickens were in a large airy pen. It was spotlessly clean and the chickens were obviously well cared for. I had forgotten as well how different chickens were in my time from those long ago. There were ten chickens in the pen and they were all sitting when we looked at them. Then one of them stood up and for a moment I was shocked because its legs were so short and it had no wings at all. All the chickens were covered in white fluffy feathers that looked more like fur than proper feathers. Father chose one right away. Since we needed two, I was supposed to choose the other, but I just couldn't. I looked at the chickens and they looked back at me and suddenly the idea of actually eating one of them revolted me, so Father had to choose the other bird as well.

Later, when the food arrived at our table, I found I had to explain what most of it was to my team. It was a seriously strange experience.

"What are these red things?" Tosh asked me "they look a bit like large radishes but they taste like potatoes."

"That's because they are potatoes" I told her.

"What are these blue things, like bean sprouts?" asked Gwen.

"We call them hopits" I said, poking at my beautifully cut pieces of chicken and wondering if I could eat them.

"I'm not really into blue food" sighed Owen "it makes me think it's off."

"What about these then?" said Gwen, grinning and poking at another vegetable on her plate "they're pink!"

"I don't see why vegetables can't be all different colors" I told her "as long as they taste O.K."

"Do your friends like the food?" asked Pa, at this point.

"Yes" I told him "it's just different from the food they're used to, that's all."

"It ought to be good" said Mom, scowling "its costing a small fortune."

"Arlen is home" said Father "so we're celebrating. Eat and enjoy."

"Are you going to eat your chicken, Jack?" Ianto asked me then "because if you aren't, I'll eat it for you, it's delicious." I gave him my chicken and I could see Mom was mad but she said nothing. I couldn't eat it after I'd seen the birds. I used to be able to years ago but I couldn't eat something I'd just seen alive only a short while before. I realized that my years in the past had affected my way of thinking a lot more than even I realized.

However, at last the main course was over and we had dessert. I had to do more translating and explaining. Then we had coffee and at length we set off for home. I hung back and grabbed Ianto's arm. "We'll walk, Father" I said "it's a nice evening."

"It's a long way" Mom said. She looked irritated and I could tell she was still mad about the chicken.

"Let them walk" said Pa "they're young. It'll do them good."

So here we are, Ianto and I, alone at last. Except, we're not alone. This is a very busy and crowded city. I feel like we're alone though which is all that matters. We walk slowly along and I hold Ianto's hand. He tries to pull away, looking embarrassed.

"It's O.K." I tell him "no-one bothers here. Anyone can do anything."

"I feel as if I'm about to be attacked" Ianto says "back home at this time in the evening..."

I interrupt him. "No-one will attack us here" I explain. I pull him closer to me and give him a quick kiss. He moves away from me at just the wrong moment and I end up kissing his left ear. He has great ears though. I stop walking and put my arms around him and start to kiss him properly. The sidewalk is crowded and people are forced to move around us. In true 51st Century fashion however, not one person bumps into us or objects to what we're doing.

"Jack" Ianto protests "we're in the street!"

I look about me and grin at him. "Oh so we are!" I say.

"We really should go to your home" Ianto says "your family will wonder where we are."

"They'll just have to wonder" I tell him and I pull him over to a nearby wall and press him up against it and kiss him again. He kisses me back then and his mouth tastes of chicken. I suddenly picture the chickens in their pen and feel slightly nauseated. I let go of him and move away. I feel like I might throw up. He puts his hand on my back and gives it a brief rub. I never used to be this way about chickens. I think the 21st Century has made me soft.

"Are you alright, Jack?" he asks, looking worried.

"We had to choose the chickens we were going to eat" I say, swallowing a mouthful of bile hastily "they were white."

"Oh" says Ianto "so that's why you didn't eat any."

"It's ridiculous" I snap, angry at myself "they're just animals. They've been specially bred to eat."

"They were delicious" says Ianto. That is enough for me. I lean over just in time and throw up all over the sidewalk. Passers by stare and a large man in a bright red suit hurries over to us and gives Ianto a small green bottle. He says something to Ianto which I don't hear because I'm too busy vomiting.

I straighten up at last, feeling weak and shaky. Ianto gives me the green bottle. "Drink it" he says.

"It might be poison" I protest.

"He said something to me but I couldn't understand" says Ianto "he mimed drinking it though."

I drink the mixture which tastes disgusting. It's yellow in color and thick and creamy. Almost immediately though I feel better. It's like magic. I suddenly feel like I could fly if I flap my arms. I do a twirl on the sidewalk and sweep Ianto into my arms. I start to sing some old song I heard someplace about birds. I whirl him along the sidewalk singing loudly. Ianto manages to make me stop and stand still by pulling hard on my arms. To my surprise he leans forward and just when I think he's going to kiss me he sniffs my breath instead.

"Jack" he says, grinning "I don't know what was in that bottle, but you're drunk."

I realize that he is swaying to and fro in a seriously weird way. "I am not drunk" I say loudly "I bet I could even walk a line."

"Yes" he laughs "a really twisty turvy one."

"A straight line" I mutter" a nice straight line. I bet that I could. What d'ya bet me, Yan? 'Bout 50 credits? 100? Jus' stand still an' answer. You're makin' me dizzy. All that swayin' 'bout."

Ianto laughs. He hooks his arm in mine and starts to walk and I go with him. It's not easy to keep up with him, I find. He walks very fast and the sidewalk is strikingly uneven just here. I find I'm wondering why it doesn't get fixed. It's so uneven I keep tripping up and only Ianto prevents me falling on my face. I find I like this commanding Ianto very much. I manage to stop us moving by the simple expedient of tripping over and purposely pulling Ianto down with me. It takes a bit of effort, but I succeed. I grab him then and try to kiss him but he moves out of the way and I end up with a mouthful of his hair instead.

"Let's go someplace and fuck" I say loudly. People are going past us and some actually have to climb over my legs to get along. Ianto is already standing up again as I speak and he pulls me onto my own feet with difficulty. I suddenly have, in fact, an overwhelming urge to lie down where I am, right on the sidewalk.

"Home" Ianto says "we have to get home. Now!"

"Can't fuck there" I tell him "too crowded."

"You probably couldn't anyway" he says calmly, starting to drag me along the street once more "you're drunk."

"No" I protest "I'm not drunk."

"What's wrong with you then?" Ianto asks. We go around a corner at that moment and to my surprise I recognize my own home street.

"There's nothing wrong with me" I tell him, with as much dignity as I can muster "it's the sidewalks here, they're uneven, and they need fixin'."

Five minutes later we're inside the family home which is very crowded and hot. The floors in here are uneven as well which I find upsetting. I don't remember noticing this before. Things must be bad and we've been out eating chicken, the most expensive food in town. We have three bathrooms but two are very small and all of them are full up with people washing, pissing etc. I go into the kitchen and there is Great Grandfather Arlen eating a donut. It is a large orange colored donut and green jelly is oozing out of it over his hands. I lean against the wall feeling dizzy. It occurs to me that maybe I am a little drunk. Just a little though.

Great Grandfather waves a sticky hand at me. "Glad you're back Arliss" he says, smiling at me.

"I'm Arlen, Grandfather" I explain.

"Really?" Great Grandfather is obviously surprised at this information "are you sure?"

"Yes" I tell him "I'm Arlen."

Ianto appears just then and propels me out of the kitchen and along the corridor into a bathroom. It is one of the small bathrooms. Ianto shuts the door with a wave of his hand and looks around the room. "O.K." he says after a moment "give me a clue, where is everything?"

I look around the room. The only visible thing in there is a shelf on one wall. Then I notice a row of buttons on the wall left of the door. Ianto spots them too and presses one of them. There is a slight hissing noise and the wall opens up to reveal a toilet. Ianto presses a second button and the toilet is joined by a shower unit. The room is so small that there is now hardly any room for us to stand so Ianto presses the shower button again thinking it will disappear into the wall once more. The only problem is--it doesn't. Instead, a sink unit comes out. Ianto presses the buttons at random and there is chaos. The toilet disappears and reappears again. The sink unit starts to fill with water. Then it disappears. The shower goes on and then goes off again. I sit down on the toilet and start to laugh. Ianto looks indignant.

"You could help" he complains "how do I control all these things?"

"I don't know" I say. It's true, I don't. I may have known once but I've forgotten. Just then the main door slides open and there is Mom looking irritated.

"What are you two doing in here?" she shouts "you've been in here for ages!"

"We got a little confused, Mom" I explain. She comes into the room, leans over me and sniffs.

"You've been drinking!" she says "no wonder you're confused." She squeezes past Ianto and comes further into the room. Then she presses various buttons very quickly and says "that's what you do. Now get on with it," and then she leaves. Ianto has obviously watched her very closely however because he then operates everything perfectly and we manage to use the toilet without mishap and shower as well.

When we finally emerge from the bathroom there is the problem of where everyone is to sleep to sort out. This apartment has only three bedrooms and there are nine of us here. Father decides where everyone is to go and there is no arguing with him, even Mom doesn't dare. In the largest bedroom, which has only one, admittedly very large, bed, Father, Pa, Mom and Great Grandfather are to all share. Mom is not pleased. Evidently Great Grandfather snores. VERY VERY LOUDLY, according to Mom. In the second bedroom, which also only has one bed and not a very big bed at that, Owen, Gwen and Tosh will sleep. Ianto and I have the third bedroom. For all of a minute I am happy about this. Then we go into the room and discover it has no bed. Anywhere. There is a couch which emerges from the wall with loud grinding noises and proves to be old fashioned and very hard. I sit down on it and after a moment Ianto sits down beside me.

"Mom told Father and Pa about us" I tell Ianto "and this is punishment."

"We're together and alone" Ianto says "that's all that matters. Think what it'll be like with Gwen, Owen and Tosh all together, in one bed" he laughs "Owen's going to have the most frustrating night of his entire life."

I laugh too then and I think of Mom, Pa and Father all lying awake and listening to Great Grandfather snore. Before morning at least one of them will end up in the living room. I find I'm wondering why at least one of them doesn't sleep in there anyhow. I lean over and kiss Ianto and he kisses me back. His lips feel fantastic against mine and his tongue feels even better, but my body is not cooperating with my mind and my cock remains resolutely limp. I sigh and lean against the back of the couch.

"Alcohol" says Ianto "is not an effective aphrodisiac. You need to sleep, and don't tell me that rubbish you're always spouting about never sleeping."

"I often have bad dreams when I sleep" I mutter, still cross with my cock.

"Yes" says Ianto "I know, but you're with me now."

It's warm everywhere in the apartment so we strip off and try to settle together on the couch. It's uncomfortable and hard and I discover that Ianto has bony elbows, which I never noticed before. He also gets hard and I can feel his cock pressing insistently against my thighs. I reach for it but he pushes my hands away and shakes his head. I shut my eyes and almost immediately I'm a child again and there is Arliss and we're running and I trip and fall down and he comes back to me and pulls me up and I can see myself small with a mass of untidy dark hair and smudges of dirt on my shirt and I can see the landscape around me and I recognize a place where we used to go for vacations and there is the sea in the distance which was too polluted to swim in but which looks gorgeous with the sun shining on it and then Father is there and he actually picks me up in his arms and I put my arms about his neck and he carries me and I look at him and he has stubble and he smiles at me and I feel his love for me and I look around and Arliss is following us and I look up at the sky and there is not a cloud in sight and I'm happy I'm so happy I could burst with joy and then there is Pa and Father puts me down and I run to Pa and he hugs me and kisses me and then he kisses Arliss and it is a moment of perfect happiness and I remember even as I dream it that it's not just a dream it's a memory too and it's wonderful and I think I'm home I'm home and despite Mom and the hard couch and the chicken I'm so glad I'm home.


	4. "We won't know when to come back" Gwen sighs "will we? Time isn't a constant, is it?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Ianto make some plans and have some fun in a bed.

I awake suddenly and I'm stiff all over, literally. Having Ianto wrapped around me is great and would be even better if I didn't have an urgent need to pee coupled with a stiff neck and pains all over from sleeping on the hard couch. I unwrap myself from Ianto with difficulty and stand up. The room sways for a moment and then steadies. This room has no adjoining bathroom so I go in search of one and find they are all occupied. I venture into the kitchen and there is Great Grandfather looking very bright and cheerful and eating a plate full of something bright green. My stomach does a little flip at the sight of the green something. I swallow hard and go to the sink unit. I am bursting to pee now so I pee in the sink, hoping Great Grandfather wont notice. He does, of course.

"I've done that a few times" he says to me "there aren't enough bathrooms in this place, especially when folks are sick."

"Folks are sick?" I repeat stupidly, drinking a glass full of water in about three gulps.

"Everyone" he sighs " 'cept me. I've a stomach like a horse. I've eaten horse too you know. It was a long time ago, but-----."

"Great Grandfather" I interrupt him "why are they sick?"

"Chicken!" he says, with a laugh "I knew it was stupid to spend all those credits on chicken. They probably didn't cook it properly. No-one can cook anything properly nowadays. When I was your age we had proper cooks and proper eating houses too. You could eat lambs and sheep and cows and even things called goats. You can't get anything like that now. It's all processed rubbish!"

I sigh and sit down at the small table next to him. "What are you eating?" I ask him, feeling relieved that I hardly ate any chicken and wondering why Ianto isn't throwing up if everyone else is.

"These things are called peas" he replies "you just heat them and they go to mush. New on the market."

"Peas?" I query "new?" I can't understand how peas can be new. Then I think, perhaps he's gotten it all wrong, he is very old after all. The door slides open and in comes Owen. He's wearing a long pink robe and has bare feet. Pink doesn't suit him. He looks terrible.

"We all have food poisoning" he tells me "I think it was the dessert. The cream tasted a bit odd. You were sick first, weren't you? Ianto's just told me all about it. They have a great medicine cabinet here though so I've dosed us all. We should be O.K. soon. I'm feeling better already."

"Not the chicken then?" I ask.

He looks surprised. "No" he says "I'm sure it was the dessert. What made you think it was the chicken?"

"Great Grandfather thinks it was the chicken" I explain.

"What I want to know" Owen says, ignoring the bit about the chicken "is why you have a Great Grandfather and no Grandparents or Great Grandmother."

The door opens again and Ianto comes in and gets himself a glass of water. He looks pale but not too sick, much to my relief. "I'd like to know that too" he says, looking at me and then at Owen.

"They all died in the last war" I say "the Alpha Tarino war. It ended just before I left home. It was terrible. Millions died."

"I didn't see any evidence of war damage" Owen remarks "how long ago did you leave here?"

"You wouldn't see structural damage" I tell him "the war just killed people, it didn't destroy buildings."

"I'd like to know why you have two Fathers and a Mother" says Ianto "while you're explaining things can you explain that?"

"I'm genetically the son of Father and Pa" I say "Pa should have carried me and my brother but he couldn't because he was born without a womb, so Mom had us, for them." I'm not related to her at all biologically though, and neither of course was my brother.

"He was born without a womb?" Ianto gasps "he's male isn't he?"

"We have three sexes here" I say "not two. Pa should have had a womb."

"So which sex are you?" Ianto asks "I always thought you were male!"

I suddenly find I'm flushing. Owen knows what I have and haven't got. He's never revealed it to anyone. That's one reason why his job is safe unless I make him forget and hope he never starts to remember again. He knows too much. I don't want to tell Ianto that I'm not the same as him. I'm afraid he might look upon me differently if he knows. I gaze at Owen and shake my head very briefly. "He's male" Owen says immediately "just like you and me."

Ianto gives a huge sigh. "That's a relief" he says "I was afraid for a moment you could get pregnant."

I catch Owen's eye and neither of us say that I HAVE already been pregnant anyhow. I suddenly have a hideous and alarming thought. My kid will be grown up. She'll be eighteen years old. OH HELL! How can I explain that to Ianto? She's not even human, she's only half human. I find I'm hoping she's not around. I don't want all this. I didn't want to be a parent then and I don't now. I only saw her once and she did look human, much to my surprise. Then I left. I somehow never expected to be able to return so I put her and everything else out of my mind. Now I'm back. I think, this all started when Arliss came back into my life so unexpectedly. Now he's gone and I'm home. I'm pondering all these things when Father comes into the already crowded kitchen followed by Mom, Pa, Tosh and Gwen. We're all in here now and there isn't room for us all.

"Everyone out of here now" says Mom in a commanding tone "I'm going to cook and I need space."

"She does need space when she cooks too" says Father, grinning.

I am surprised when, instead of getting mad like I expect, Mom just pokes Father in the ribs and says "oh you" and then laughs.

We go into the main living room and wait for Mom to cook. I hear crashing and banging and some swearing, followed by the unmistakable smell of burning. Pa grins. "I think the cooking is underway" he says, and he, Father and Great Grandfather all laugh.

"I dreamt we were at Hollington Camp" I tell Father and Pa "you and Pa and me and Arliss."

"We had some good times there" says Pa "it's still there, you know Arlen. You and your friends could visit while you're here."

"What are you talking about?" asks Ianto, giving me a nudge with his elbow as we sit side by side on the sofa.

"I dreamt I was small and on a family vacation" I explain "evidently the place we went to is still there. We could visit."

"WE ARE NOT VISITING ANYWHERE" Owen shouts immediately "WE ARE ACTUALLY GOING HOME---TODAY!!"

"I think we should go back" says Tosh in a quieter and more reasonable tone "we might be needed."

"We can get back the moment we left" I say "so we can stay as long as we like."

"I'd like to go home" Gwen mutters "I miss Rhys."

That remark does affect me. It is absolutely essential that Gwen stays with Rhys. It is essential for the future of my entire family because her son will be, or rather is, my families direct ancestor. I can't explain that to my team and I can't even explain that family history, going back thousands of years in some cases, is taught to school age kids here. It was always impressed on us all the importance of preserving and not interfering with the past. I know of at least one guy who went back and fell in love with one of his ancestors. She had his kid and when he went home he found his entire family had vanished. He got sick and then died and they put him in the mortuary because no-one claimed his body. When someone looked several days later to see if they could recognize him they were horrified to find that his body was gone and all records of his very existence had gone too. The girl he made pregnant should have married some other guy and had four kids with him. We were told this story and several others too. It was frightening. I have to make sure Gwen stays with Rhys, at least until she has her son anyhow. I couldn't find out what happened to her or Rhys after she had a son. The records were unavailable I found. I hate it when that happens.

"You and Owen and Tosh can go home" I say at last "Ianto and I'll follow later, if Ianto wants to stay a while, that is."

"How will you get back?" asks Tosh, looking worried.

"We'll manage" I tell her "there are ways."

"We can't work the damn cube" moans Owen.

"I'll show you" I say "then you can come back for us."

"We won't know when to come back" Gwen sighs "will we? Time isn't a constant, is it?"

The truth is, I'm not really sure I can send them back to the right time. I'm not sure at all. I'll just try though and hope for the best. I look at Ianto. "What about a little vacation?" I ask him.

"Yes" he says right away "I'd like to see some of the places you went to when you were young."

So it's decided. Tosh, Gwen and Owen will return and after a week they'll come back for Ianto and I. It's all totally illogical because if they don't get back my family and me too will just disappear and Ianto will be trapped in the future on his own. If they do get back they'll almost certainly not return at the right time here, so anything could happen, anything at all. Ianto and I might be here for months or even years. I don't say any of this though, there's no point in worrying them and I'll know soon enough if they're back. It's a hard concept to grasp this time thing. I can't imagine just disappearing. How would it feel I wonder? Then I think, well, they must succeed because I'm here now and I've been there too. Back in the past. I can't manage to think it through. It's too difficult to grasp.

Breakfast, when it's finally ready, is a seriously odd meal. Mom seems to have cooked almost everything she could lay her hands on. With all the gadgets available she's still managed to burn some things and under-cook others. We have bread which is singed, and a cooked cereal which is somewhat like an orange colored porridge. This is also singed. Then there is a variety of undercooked and hard vegetables and some burned round things which I can't remember the name of until Pa tells me they're oraties, which means nothing to me at all. We have tea with all this. It's blue tea which I seem to recall was a favorite with most folk. Owen makes his usual objection to blue food which evidently applies to blue drink as well.

While we're eating I suddenly remember Arliss and I being subjected to Mom's cooking as kids and Father exhorting us to eat everything because it was impolite not to. I had an overwhelming urge to be impolite anyhow. We were a household of males living in a time when only a handful of people actually cooked at all. Mom was simply weird, I thought. I ate the food though, to please Father and because Arliss ate it. Then I threw most of it up again. I was never really a favorite with Mom.

After breakfast Owen, Gwen and Tosh surprise me by announcing that they're going out to look around town before they leave. Father and Pa are going with them as guides, although the two groups don't seem to have even one word in common. Then Mom says she's going too. I feel suddenly really cheerful. They've all gotten over their bout of whatever it was that made them ill real quick, I think. Then I realize that Ianto and I'll be alone except for Great Grandfather. This is good news. I look over at Great Grandfather and he's asleep in his chair. If he stays asleep, I think-----just maybe-----just maybe Ianto and I will be able to do a little physical bonding.

A half hour later, Great Grandfather is still asleep and shows no sign of awakening, so Ianto and I retreat to the main bedroom and I let down the bed. I grab Ianto and kiss him very thoroughly and his body feels great against mine, all hot and sweaty and hard. We fall onto the bed kissing and pulling at each others clothing. I suddenly feel very excited indeed and I feel like I'm not going to last long enough to get naked even. Ianto pulls away from me and sits up. He's panting and his eyes look very dark. He gets up, moves away from the bed and strips naked while I sit and watch. When he's almost done I get up and strip too. Ianto puts his clothing on the floor in a neat pile while I just toss mine anywhere. We lie on the bed together. I have calmed down a little and I begin to explore Ianto's body, kissing and licking and nipping him all over his face and chest and then moving lower and lower until I reach his straining cock which I ignore completely. He thrusts his hips upward to draw my attention to it but I concentrate on his thighs instead.

"Please-please" he gasps.

"In a moment" I reply.

He suddenly rolls over and gets up on his hands and knees. He wiggles his butt right in front of my eyes and I give in and go look for the lube. I prepare him carefully leaving him groaning and grunting in frustration. Finally I can't wait any longer myself and I enter him as slow as I can and it feels so fantastic I can feel the warm slick tightness of him surrounding me and I thrust in and out and he moves with my movements and I wish I could see his face and I reach around and grab his cock and my hand moves with our movements and it feels so fantastic and I'm moaning and groaning myself now and the noises we're making blend together and I'm going to come he is too I see his balls clutch up and I'm shaking and I feel the spasms as I come hard inside him and I think maybe I should have used a condom and then where the fuck do you find them here and then I forget everything as he comes and we're both crying out and I forget everything except the feelings----

We lie together still joined until I slide out and he cries out "NO" and he turns over and we embrace so tightly it's like we're one again. "I love you" he says "I love you so much."

"I love you too" I say, and we're still lying there moments later when the door opens and I look to see who it is and it's Great Grandfather.

"Wondered where you were" he says, in a plaintive tone "and you're here. My word, it's a long time since I got my pole greased. I got my memories though. I can tell you some tales-----I"

"Later, Great Grandfather" I say, before he can actually start rambling about his early sex life.

"Alright" he says cheerfully "I'll make some tea. Blue or yellow?"

What a choice, I think. "Blue, please" I reply.

"What's he going on about?" Ianto mumbles.

"He's going to make us some tea" I explain "and when we've sorted out the others we'll go off on our little trip. Right?"

"Mnn" murmurs Ianto. He's nearly asleep. I close my eyes and drift off too, into a peaceful dream where Ianto and I are alone on a beach. Before I sleep I think, tomorrow we'll be away-tomorrow-tomorrow-----


	5. Hollington Camp.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack, Ianto and Great Grandfather arrive at Hollington Camp.

Well, here we are at last. We've reached Hollington Camp and it looks just the way I remember. We said goodbye to the rest of the team and I kissed Pa and Father and Mom and off we went on the train. I found it impossible to explain to Ianto that the train didn't need visible rails or anything to support it as it flew along above the busy streets. I think he found it a bit frightening. I would be real happy in fact, but for one important fact, Great Grandfather has come with us.

We are in cabin number 3045. When I was here as a kid I think there were around 2000 cabins. Now we were told, as I booked us in, that there are 5500. The whole complex has been extended evidently. I explained to Ianto that it is built under a huge transparent, invisible dome and that everything except the sea is artificial. We were told, much to our surprise, that the sea was now free of pollutants and we could swim in it if we wished. This would be fantastic if only I could actually swim! Ianto doesn't know I can't. Now I shall have to tell him. I can splash a bit and that's all.

Ianto is amazed at the cabins. Not only the number there are, but that they are so old fashioned even to him, who's from 3000 years in the past anyhow. The only modern convenience is the food replicator. You punch in a code and out comes whatever you want, or rather, whatever has been programmed into the machine in the first place. While Great Grandfather has a nap in his very small room, presumably meant for a child, Ianto and I go exploring. Outside, the sun is shining and the sky is a clear blue. It looks fantastic. I tell Ianto it's all artificial.

''All this isn't real?'' he asks me.

''Man made'' I say.

He sighs. ''I thought we were going to be alone'' he complains ''why is your Great Grandfather with us?''

''He's paying'' I have to confess ''I thought Pa or Father might lend me some credits but they wouldn't. They said they couldn't afford it. Then Great Grandfather said he would pay but only if he could come with us. He's old, he sleeps a lot. It'll be O.K. you see.''

''Hmmm'' Ianto murmurs ''that's true, he's asleep now. Let's go back to the cabin and go to bed.''

''Yeh'' I reply ''I really could use a rest.''

Our room is large by 51st Century standards. There is an enormous bed in the center of the room and a walk in closet. I love walk in closets. I've had some fun times in them in the past. I look at the closet door and a warm feeling of nostalgia comes over me. I know its idiotic as there's a bed but I'd really love to have a fuck in the closet right now. I wonder if Ianto would mind too much.

''There's a walk in closet'' I tell him, which isn't really necessary as he's already looked inside it and even hung some clothes in it.

''Yes'' he answers, with his nose buried in clothing, which he has now spread all over the bed ''I'll just get this stuff out of the way and then...''

''Let's go in the closet'' I suggest quickly.

''I've been in there'' he says calmly ''I'm going in and out actually.''

''I mean to stay for a bit'' I mumble, feeling my stupid face starting to turn red.

''You want to stand in there?'' he asks, looking at me with a surprised expression.

''Erm, not just stand there no.'' This is getting more and more embarrassing by the moment.

Suddenly he grins widely. ''Why Jack Harkness'' he says ''there's a huge comfy bed there and you want to go and hide in the closet and......what? Tell me what you want, Jack? Exactly.''

''I thought'' I plunge madly ahead ''we might fuck.''

''What's wrong with the bed?'' he asks, laughing now.

''Er well, closets are .....well... great ....and..'' I try to think of some logical reason for this odd suggestion ''Great grandfather wont be able to interrupt us if we're...er ..in there...''

Ianto stops sorting out clothing and comes over to me. He puts his arms around me, grinning. ''We come here for a holiday and there's a great big bed and you want to fuck in a walk in wardrobe!'' he says.

''Yeh'' I admit.

''O.K.'' he says cheerfully ''I don't know how we'll do it though, there's not too much space in there.''

We go in the closet and discover that there's no way of shutting it from the inside. I pull it as closed as I can and wedge a shoe in the gap so it can't get shut by mistake. We stand there and kiss. Ianto's mouth is warm and firm and when our tongues touch I'm so excited I nearly come then and there. I pull away from him groaning. He grabs me and bends down and puts his mouth over the bulge in my pants. We're both wearing old fashioned clothing which has a separate top and bottom. I feel the warm heat of him right through my clothing. He sucks me through my pants making them soaking wet. I hold his head and push myself against his mouth. He stands up again and leans back away from me and opens my pants. Because we've been traveling I'm wearing underpants too. He pushes my pants down and sucks me through my underpants. I'm leaking and my underpants are already wet. He stands up again.

''D'you want me to fuck you, Jack?'' he asks ''here?''

''Yeh , please, please, Ianto'' I mutter, pushing myself desperately against him ''come on, come on.'' I bend down and remove my boots and then I take off my pants and underpants and then the rest of my clothing. I turn around and put my hands against the back wall of the closet and bend forward slightly. I look around and look at Ianto and he's just in the act of removing his pants and I watch as he pulls off his underpants and I look at his cock. It's hard and the head is shiny with moisture. I turn back to the wall as he finds my opening and I feel his fingers, one, two and then three, spreading me and feel the slickness of the lube. He slowly slides into me and I'm already panting and grunting and groaning and shouting stuff as he moves in and out. I keep the palms of my hands on the wall and I look down at my cock and I move with Ianto and its so good its so good and my cock jerks and throbs and more pre come oozes out of it and I let go of the wall with one hand but before I can grab my cock I feel Ianto grip it and we move together and its fantastic. I'm near I'm nearly there and I feel my balls tightening and I'm crying out and then I'm coming and coming and its shooting up the wall and my chest and Ianto's coming too and I feel it spurting inside me and again and again. I straighten up and let go of the wall and Ianto's arms wrap around me and for a moment we stand there still joined. We are literally one person I think, indivisible. Inseparable for all time. Ianto and Jack. Jack and Ianto. He slides out of me and I feel come dripping down the back of my legs. I love him so much. So much. I would die for him if I could.

I turn around and press my hot sticky body against him. ''Love you'' I murmur in his ear ''love you so much.'' 

"I love you too'' he says and we kiss again and then again. Ianto then gives a huge sigh and says ''I must finish unpacking and we need to clean up too.'' He dresses again speedily while I sit on the end of the bed and watch him. Everything he does fascinates me, even the way he pulls on his pants interests me. He gives the top of my head a quick peck of a kiss and goes off into the little adjoining bathroom to wash up. A moment later Great Grandfather comes into the room, yawning and stretching. I'm still sitting on the bed naked too.

''There you are'' says Great Grandfather, smiling happily at me ''thought you were in here 'cause you're just like me, or anyhow, like I was'' I wonder what he's talking about now. I quickly pull the comforter over my bare lower half. He's had a good look at it though. He sits down next to me on the end of the bed. I try to work out how old he must be without any success. ''I couldn't get enough of it either'' he says, beaming a huge smile at me and giving my leg a pat ''I suppose you think I'm too old to remember but I'm not. There's just some things you never forget. I heard you. You're noisy. I used to be like that. You're like me. You have the cleft.''

He's completely lost me now. ''What cleft?'' I ask.

He taps his chin. ''I remember when Arliss was born'' he says ''he didn't have the cleft. I loved him but he weren't nothing special ever, you know. Then you come along and I saw you right after you was born and there it was. The cleft. On your chin. I looked at you and I held you in my arms and I said to your Father: This is the one. He'll do great things this one. An he said it's just a suspicion but I knew it. I knew it. You've been back, haven't you? Back there in History? That's where you met him, isn't it? I know 'cause I did it too. Things I weren't supposed to do an saw things I weren't supposed to see. You're like me see. Even your cock's jus' like mine used to be. Nice an' big an full of energy.''

This is getting very embarrassing. ''I have been back'' I admit ''and I shouldn't have and I did meet Ianto there.''

''How d'you say that again?'' he asks.

''Yan-to'' I say slowly.

''I had my own Yan-to long ago'' he says slowly ''before I met your Great Grandmother. He was tall and blond and I was madly in love with him.''

''What happened to him?'' I ask.

''It was one o' those damn wars'' he mutters, scowling ''we was both captured and they hung us both up by our thumbs to a tree an' left us there. He died there. I was almost dead when they found us but not quite. They brought me back an' for years I wished they hadn't. You watch over your Yan-to. You watch him real close.''

I have never had a conversation like this with my Great Grandfather before and suddenly I'm glad he's come with Ianto and I on this trip. I look at him and I can almost see the young man he once was long ago, mourning his lover and wishing he was dead too. How well I know that feeling.

''D'you love him more than the universe itself? Is he your whole reason for bein'? Your other half?'' asks Great Grandfather seriously.

I nod. ''Yes, he is'' I say.

He smiles and stands up stiffly. He kisses both my cheeks. ''Good'' he says ''you love him all you can and as long as you can. You spend every second you can spare with him. I give you my blessing and that's worth somethin' because I'm 102 years old.''

''I will'' I say and I stand up and lean down and kiss him in return. His cheeks are dry and wrinkled but I can see the young lover inside him and I'm so glad to know him again before he goes to wherever you go when your body dies and withers. I am part of him and his blood runs through my veins and I'm glad.


	6. The Xrptens. They take slaves.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ianto is kidnapped.

Its a beautiful sunny morning and Ianto and I are in the woods. Although the camp is a largely artificial paradise there are some real trees and plants here. There didn't use to be when I was young. There are also berries. Juicy red, blue and yellow berries sweet to taste. Ianto and I sit on the grass and feed each other berries under the shaded sun. It is a perfect time and I suddenly wish I could put the whole moment into a bottle and keep it for all eternity. I am happy. I lay down on my back and watch Ianto sitting up eating the remainder of the berries we picked earlier. The dappled sunlight glistens on his hair and neck. His head is surrounded by a halo of light. How I love him. How very much. He turns and smiles at me. I smile lazily back. {We arose late after we made love, we didn't fuck we made love.}

"I've never seen you look so happy and relaxed before'' he says, lying down next to me and turning onto his side so he can touch my chest.

''I wish we could stay here for ever'' I tell him.

''There's a world out there and we have to return to it'' he says seriously ''whether we like it or not.''

''I know'' I say. I roll onto my side facing him and wrap my arms about him. He is warm but not sweating. The soft material of his clothing is cool to touch. Its been designed that way. I kiss him and he kisses me back and our mouths blend together and we press tightly together as if we were trying to climb into each others suits.

''We can't here'' he says, still holding me tightly anyhow.

''We can, I want to'' I say and I kiss him again and explore the hot wet interior of his mouth and run my hands down his back to his butt and wrap myself around him.

"Jack----'' he says and his mouth opens wider and his tongue touches the roof of my mouth and I'm suddenly so hard I feel desperate.

''I want you'' I tell him ''I want you so much. I love you so much.''

He rolls us over so he is on top of me and moves down the cool gray of my all in one suit and sucks my nipples through the material and I thrust against him and I feel the heat of an overwhelming desire coiling deep inside me and when he presses his mouth against the bulge of my cock I cry out loudly and he sits up right away looking hot now and little drops of sweat are dropping on me from his face. He pulls at his own pale blue garment and manages to get it down to his hips without standing up. I can't move for a moment. I'm afraid if I touch myself or Ianto touches me right now I'll come. I watch him as he stands up and strips naked. He is beautiful. I control my breathing at last and Ianto helps me remove my own clothing. He puts our boots side by side so they are touching. I have a daft sentimental thought that even our boots are in harmony.

We lie together on the grass its soft to the touch and I can feel it under me as Ianto rolls us over so he is on top and he kisses me and I kiss him and we roll over again so I am on top and then back again and I wonder if we can do it without lube and if it'll hurt and I suck and nibble Ianto's nipples and lick his chest down and down and down and bypass his anxious cock and suck his balls and roll my mouth around first one and then the other and I kiss his inner thighs and he moans and then he kisses my chin and bites my neck and I think--vampire--- and I'm leaking over myself and him and he is too and we're getting damp and sticky and he puts his tongue in my navel and for some reason that makes me even more excited and I lift my legs and wrap them around his body and he moves down and I feel his tongue enter me and start to explore and he has a fantastic tongue and he spits there and spit isn't really enough but I'm still open from earlier and he rubs spit over his cock and then he reaches for his suit and in the single pocket is a small tube of lube and I didn't even know he had it with him and its just enough just enough and when he enters me its so good and we move and we move and I can feel him inside me so deep and I want him deeper and I push myself against him and I'm groaning and panting and his breathing is loud and its so marvelous I wish we could fuck for ever and ever and never stop and come and come and never stop and then I feel it starting and I cry out that I'm coming and he says he is too and we shake against each other and we're together and we're together and I feel him spurting inside me hot and hot and I'm coming all over myself and him and its beyond great its -----out of this world fantastic.

We lie together still joined, panting hard. Ianto slides out of me slowly but I still try to keep him inside of me because we were one and I want us to stay like that as long as we can. "Ianto'' I say ''oh God, Ianto.''

''Wow'' he says as last ''that was------that was -----''

"Yeh'' I respond.

''We're going to be stuck together'' he mutters.

I shut my eyes. I need to sleep. I hardly ever slept in the Hub but its different here. I'm home here. I can sleep for hours without even dreaming. ''I don't care'' I tell him ''we can stick together for ever.''

''What about food?'' he asks, smiling ''and everything else?''

''I've seen you piss and shit'' I say sleepily ''I wouldn't care.''

''I meant we ought to get back'' he says, laughing now ''your Great Grandfather might wonder where we are. We've been gone for ages.''

''I just want to sleep for a bit first'' I say and I roll us both onto our sides and as we move I can feel that we are starting to really stick together. Its actually not a pleasant feeling. I sit up reluctantly. My chest and groin are covered with dried come I came so hard. Its amazing to me that it can make such a mess. I pick absently at it. As I sit up I realize that Ianto's own contribution to this scenario is oozing out of me onto the grass. ''I'm sitting on wet grass'' I tell Ianto. He laughs again and helps me up. I'm really tired now. I lean against him and shut my eyes. He has to help me dress as well as dress himself. I can tell he is tired too though. My suit is ruined. It's lucky I have several.

When we arrive back at our cabin we're both surprised to see that Great Grandfather is not only up and about he has made lunch and has a visitor too. He has set up tables and chairs outside the cabin and he and the visitor, an elderly lady, are sitting there side by side, chatting and eating what appears to be a salad. He waves to us as we arrive.

''Arlen'' he shouts as Ianto and I go over to the table ''this is Evera. She's in the next cabin all on her own so I thought she could come over and here she is.'' He turns to Evera and introduces Ianto and I. ''This is my Great Grandson Arlen and his boyfriend'' he says ''he's a foreigner. He's called Ianto. I didn't use the replicator'' he adds ''Evera and I got the meal ready ourselves."

We shake hands very politely and then make our excuses and go inside the cabin. I really need to bathe. Ianto and I shower together and its a squeeze, but we manage somehow. We find some clean clothing and are soon outside with Great Grandfather and Evera eating salad. There is lettuce which looks pretty much like 21st century lettuce. There is fresh fruit and pink potatoes and blue tea and pieces of cucumber and bread, crusty and surprisingly warm. I can hardly eat I'm so tired and Ianto keeps yawning which doesn't help to keep me awake. At one point I do fall asleep because I wake up with a jerk and a piece of cucumber falls out of my mouth onto the table. It looks half chewed. I'm relieved when at last the meal is over and Ianto and I are free to go to bed. We flop onto the bed and fall asleep with our clothing and boots still on. Great.

I awake with a jolt and roll over expecting to bump against Ianto's warm body. He isn't there. I am alone on the bed. I get up. I'm hot and sticky and sweaty and uncomfortable. I go to look for Ianto. He isn't in the cabin and neither is Great Grandfather or Evera. I shower and piss and change into another suit. Then I leave the cabin to look for Ianto and Great Grandfather. There is a hideous sick feeling in my stomach as I stand by the door to the cabin and for a moment I'm actually scared to leave the building. I can't understand why I'm suddenly on my own. Where have they gone? Where is Ianto? I leave the cabin. I leave and then I see. Great Grandfather and Evera are there, still sitting at the table where we had our lunch. Their heads are sunk onto their chests. I run to them and I lift Evera's head and she is dead, her eyes blank and staring. I am almost afraid to look closely at Great Grandfather. I swallow the bile rising in my mouth and lean over him. He is breathing. His breath puffs shallowly over my hand as I carefully lift his head. Then his eyes open and he looks straight at me.

''They came'' he says in a breathless voice.

''Who came, Grandfather?'' I ask.

''Them'' he says ''Arlen. them."

''Where's Ianto?'' I ask ''where is he?''

''I didn't see'' he says ''I think they took him though, that's what they do. The Xrptens. They take slaves. You've been away--you wouldn't know about them. I don't know why I'm still here, alive. I don't know.'' He looks at me and his eyes fill with heavy tears. We cry together. Ianto is gone and I'm alone. I wish I was dead. I wish I could die. I wish----I wish-----


	7. Reunion.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack is captured.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning----------
> 
>  
> 
> This Chapter contains violence and cannibalism.

I have to bury Great Grandfather. He lingers for a while but his breath comes slower and slower and finally ceases. I bury him and I am now truly alone. I pack a bundle of stuff that may be useful and go to search the Camp for signs of life. Almost right away I wish I hadn't. There are bodies----and bodies--and more bodies. Some look merely as if they fell asleep and didn't awake. Some look as if they died in the act of trying to escape and were felled as they ran. The remainder obviously died in unspeakable agony. Their faces are fixed in expressions of unbearable terror and they are lying in oceans of blood. I have never seen so much blood. It is endless and drying and the copper smell permeates the air. I wander about aimlessly in a state of shock for hours finding more and more scenes of devastation.

At last I stop my perambulations and sit down by a tree. Then I notice what I would have seen earlier if I hadn't been so stunned by events. The trees are loosing their leaves and the plants are dying. I realize too that the atmosphere is deteriorating and the air is growing thinner. I am beginning to get breathless although I'm not moving now. I look up and far above me I can now see the roof of Hollington Camp. I can see its structure clearly. Now I am really terrified. The whole Camp is collapsing and soon I will be as dead as the bodies around me. Or will I? Can I die now? Have the Xrptens done something to me no one else could? I can hardly breathe at all now and I lie down under the tree and shut my eyes. As the breath leaves my body I think of Ianto and Arliss and all the other people that I have loved and lost. If only I believed in a life after death I could take comfort in the thought that someday I will be reunited with everyone. But I don't believe. The body dies. It ends. There is nothing. Nothing at all-------nothing-----

I open my eyes. I am no longer under the tree. I am no longer on grass, artificial or otherwise and I'm naked and lying on a bed. A long narrow bed. Above me I can see a plain silver metal ceiling. I sit up and look around. I am in what appears to be a cell, since three sides are sliver like the ceiling and the fourth side is covered in grey metal bars. There is a toilet in the corner of the cell. I stand up and go and use it. I can't figure out how to flush it. There is a bright green liquid in the bottom which smells slightly medicinal. I look out through the cell bars and can see a corridor. It seems to be empty but I can see the bars of what must be other cells. I can't see if any of them are occupied. I go and sit back down on the bed. I realize that I'm hungry. I have no idea where I am or what is happening. It is an unpleasant feeling.

Suddenly I hear the sound of a door, metal and heavy, being opened not far away and the next moment my cell door is opened as well and I'm face to face with three armed men. They look human. They're all about 3-4 inches taller than I am and all of them have red hair and amazing red eyes. They're pointing guns, which look strikingly old fashioned, at me so I stand up and raise my hands.

''You've been processed'' says one of the men in perfect English, ''come.''

They have the guns so I do. I go with them, or rather, they make me walk ahead of them. I'm naked but they're not only armed, they're clothed too in some kind of strange red uniform complete with epaulets. We go along the corridor and turn a corner and go through another barred door and then I'm literally pushed into another cell. This one is larger than the first but it needs to be as it is full of naked men. The cell is, in fact, so full of people that at first it seems as if there isn't even room to sit down. However, I soon realize that there is more room than I thought. The occupants of the cell have all crowded at the cell door to see who is being thrust among them. I suddenly wonder if Ianto is amongst this crowd.

I stand by the cell bars and shout ''IANTO-----IANTO------" and a miracle occurs, a voice shouts in reply "JACK---IS THAT YOU?'' The crowd thins as a figure pushes through them. It's him, it is my Ianto. He stops in front of me and we look at each other. He seems fit and his skin is clear and unmarked. He isn't injured. I can hardly believe that he's here, in front of me. I reach out my hand, tentatively, half afraid I'll awake and find it's all a dream, and he reaches his hand out at the same moment and our fingers touch. His hand is warm and real and it isn't a dream and we are together.

''You're here, Jack'' he says ''really here.''

''I don't know how I got here or where I am'' I tell him.

''This is a prison ship'' he tells me ''we're all being taken to Xrpten. I was asleep in bed and when I woke up I was here. I don't remember what happened in between.''

''When I woke up you were gone'' I explain ''Grandfather told me The Camp had been attacked and you'd probably been captured. Then he died and I-----'' My eyes fill with sudden tears and I start to sob. I can't stop it. He puts his arms around me and I sob onto his bare shoulder. The other inhabitants of the cell are silent. They aren't mocking or critical of our actions. Maybe they're thinking of all the loved ones they've lost or left behind. Ianto pulls me over to a seat and we sit down there together. I notice that there are no beds but there are bare benches and hard chairs. Some people are sitting on the floor but many have found a seat even if it is hard and uncomfortable. I lean against Ianto and tell him slowly about the conditions I left in Hollington Camp.

''They've given us food and water'' Ianto tells me, at last ''the food wasn't terribly edible but it was filling once you managed to chew it down and the water was drinkable, just about.''

''What are they going to do with us?'' I ask him.

''Oh, we'll be sold'' he says quite calmly ''as slaves usually are.''

We sit side by side holding hands and each thinking our own thoughts. Mine are mostly about Ianto and what will happen to the two of us. Then I start to think about escaping. In this I have a built in advantage over everyone else here and also over the Xrptens themselves. I CAN'T DIE. Whatever I do they can make me suffer endlessly but they can't kill me. I wonder if I can think of a plan. At this moment I'm too hungry to think straight and the shock of finding Ianto again is still too new. There is another problem too. The cell's two toilets are not sufficient for this number of people. The green liquid in them, which presumably cleans them and rots the contents, is not working fast enough. The toilets are starting to block up and stink. We have to use them though. We have no choice. After I've been in the cell only around a couple of hours though both toilets are completely blocked. Then people start peeing on the floor and then they shit on the floor too. There is no sign of any food or drink arriving either.

Finally a fight starts between two men and several others join in. There is a great deal of shouting and swearing. Ianto and I keep out of the way. We go to the cell bars and lean against them and hope we don't get dragged into this pointless conflict. Within moments however, our Guards arrive with their guns and fire them indiscriminately into the cell. Ianto and I lean against the nearest wall and by some miracle are not hit. Bodies fall to the floor and there is blood everywhere. It is a scene from hell as men scream and shout and try to escape to the far end of the cell. Then the guns are silent and more Guards arrive accompanied by a very tall Xrpten who is dressed all in Black. He is in charge I realize at once. He shouts at the Guards who shot at us, in some foreign language that I can't understand, and they are obviously afraid of him even though they have guns and he has nothing but his height and authority.

The cell is opened again and those of us who are unhurt are led away down another corridor to a clean cell. Since this cell is the same in every way as the last one we were in there is now a lot more room for us. There were around 60 men in the last cell and now there's only about 25 of us left. We all have a seat. It's horrible to admit it but I'm relieved. We still aren't given any food though or any water. Time drags terribly when you're hungry and thirsty. Gradually everyone stops talking and we all try to get some sleep. It's difficult to sleep on a hard bench anyhow and the hunger and thirst makes it even worse. My stomach is making rumbling noises and my mouth is very dry. I can't even produce any spit.

At last, after what seems like weeks but was probably only about three or four days, we are given some food and water. The water has an odd taste but there's plenty of it. We are given a large barrel of the stuff and a metal cup and plate each. The food is in a huge cooking pot which has three legs. There is a ladle and plenty for all. It's a kind of stew which has bits of what I guess are vegetables in it plus some type of meat. I find I'm wondering what animal we are eating. There is enough for everyone to have a second helping and Ianto has finished his and I'm taking the last swallow of mine when there's a horrendous scream of anguish from a seat at the rear of the cell.

''DON'T EAT IT" the voice shouts in a desperate tone ''DON'T-----PLEASE-------SEE HERE-------SEE THIS-------IT'S A TATTOO--------I WAS NEXT TO HIM-------I SAW THE TATTOO-----IT WAS ON HIS ARM-----A HORSE-----I SAW IT------THIS IS PART OF IT-----IN THE SOUP------WE'VE EATEN HIM-----WE'VE BEEN EATING HIM-----OH GOD HELP ME------"

There's a shocked silence for a moment in the cell. Several men still eating stop and spit out mouthfuls of stew onto the floor. My stomach turns over painfully. Have we really eaten one of our former cell mates or is this particular man just insane? I look at my empty plate and think ''well, if we have eaten him, it's too late to worry about it now.'' I start to wonder what we'll do when the next meal arrives and if it'll be another of our former companions. I realize I'm not thinking very sensibly about this. My thoughts are all jumbled and confused and I have a headache as well. I need to lie down but there's nowhere but the floor or the seats and the man is yelling about the tattoo and flinging himself about screaming and crying while others are attempting to quieten him down in case the Guards arrive again with their guns.

''We're cannibals'' Ianto says to me suddenly '' and I'm not even shocked. We've broken the last taboo.''

''Not from choice'' I tell him ''we just ate what we were given. We didn't know it was human meat. I was very hungry.''

''Me too" he says. He looks at me. ''Would you have eaten it if you'd known what was in it?'' he asks.

''It was all they gave us'' I point out.

''Would you have?'' he persists.

I look him straight in the eye.''Yes'' I say ''I would.''

He sighs. "Me too'' he says ''me too.''

I can't die but I can get damned desperate and Ianto CAN die. It's all my fault he's here in this mess and the guy was obviously dead anyhow. So we ate him instead of starving. I sit there thinking that this unknown human has saved a lot of lives. I really don't want to eat anyone else though. I start to hope we'll reach Xrpten soon.


	8. OH HEAVEN DEAD AT LAST.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack dies again.

It is some days, at least I think it is, since we ate Human Flesh. We've been fed regularly since then and most of us eat what we are given. Two guys refuse to eat in case it's Human meat. They are visibly starving now and I can see their ribs standing out from their chests. We had all lost weight before the Human Meat arrived and these Guys haven't eaten ANYTHING for ages. All they do is drink the liquid we are given. There isn't much nourishment in that I don't think.

We're all sitting around in silence when several armed Guards arrive. They move us out of the Cell we are in and march us down the corridor. We turn a corner and we're in yet another corridor. Along both sides are small cells. The corridor stretches into the far distance and seems endless. I can see dozens of cells. They all have metal bars and look very much like the cells do in old Movies. The Guards push us into the cells two by two. Ianto and I hang onto each other and by a magnificent stroke of good luck we are pushed into the same cell.

The cell is a great improvement on our previous accommodation. It has two narrow beds complete with old fashioned pillows, sheets and blankets. At the back of the cell there is a toilet and a wash hand basin. Above the basin is a small cabinet with a mirror on the front. Opposite the toilet and Basin is a door. I open it and find it's a store cupboard. The upper part has shelves filled with strikingly 21st Century looking cans and packets of food. On the floor in front of the shelves is what turns out to be a small refrigerator. It's full of cartons. I can't understand the writing on them so I open one. Inside is a white liquid which tastes just like Cow's Milk.

Ianto and I sit together on one of the beds and drink the Milk. Ianto grins at me. I grin back. "Maybe" he says slowly " they're going to fatten us up for sale now they've weeded out the weaklings".

"Ugh" I say in reply. I get up and look at myself in the Mirror. I look terrible. I can't remember the last time I looked so awful. I am dirty, my hair is long and greasy, I have a messy, straggly beard and my teeth are brown. Somehow, I think, I look worse than Ianto. I open the cabinet and inside are various toilet articles. Scissors, nail clippers, hair shampoo, toothpaste and brushes, soap, and old fashioned shaving razors. Ianto comes and stands next to me. We gaze at the items inside the cabinet together.

"We can clean up" Ianto tells me "let's do that first and then see what's in those tins."

We spend what seems like hours cleaning ourselves. Ianto cuts my hair and I cut his. I find I am useless at cutting hair. Ianto cuts mine evenly and it feels good to have short hair again. I cut his unevenly, but he says he doesn't mind. Bathing yourself from head to foot in a small basin meant for washing hands is difficult, but we are dirty and determined and there is plenty of hot water. Finally we look at each other and we are human again, or at least Ianto is, I'm as human as I was before-----

We open cans and packets and eat a strange meal of what looks like baked beans and some kind of canned fish. It all has to be eaten cold, straight from the cans and packets, and with our fingers. It tastes heavenly. We clean up and Ianto puts the empty cans on the floor of the pantry since we can't find anyplace else to put them. I have another go at my teeth. I hate having brown teeth and cleaning them three times still hasn't made a lot of impact.

We flop together on one of the beds. I lie down and Ianto lies down too. He's partly on top of me because the bed isn't very big. I close my eyes. It feels so good to have his warm flesh pressed up against mine again. We roll onto our sides and face each other. Ianto kisses me tenderly.

"Love you" he says "whatever." He closes his eyes.

"Me too" I say "forever." I close my eyes and feel myself drifting--drifting-----I sleep. I dream of home long ago. I am with Arliss and we chase each other across a field bright with red flowers and we stop chasing and he picks a flower and blows the petals counting one two three four and then the petals are gone and he is gone too and I am left with emptiness and I look around and in the distance I can see Ianto and he's a child like me, and dressed like me too in an all in one suite with bare legs and feet and we run to each other and we meet and hug each other and he says "Jack, forever." We lie on the grass and I roll over and I can feel the sun shining hot upon me and the grass warm against my bare legs and feet and I am happy so happy----

I awake suddenly. Our cell is moving in an alarming and frightening manner. It's a miracle we're still on the bed. I sit up and Ianto opens his eyes and sits up too. Despite the vibrating and shaking of the cell we manage to get up. We stand in typical prisoner fashion, I realize later, clinging to the bars at the front of the cell. Nothing except the bare wall of the corridor is visible. Then we hear the sound of a huge explosion and then another and I can see smoke coming toward us along the corridor. The smoke gets thicker and we both start to cough. Then we hear the noise of running feet coming closer and closer----

Abruptly the cell door slides open and I grab Ianto's hand as we venture into the smoke filled corridor. The smoke is growing more and more dense and I can't see much and I can feel my lungs filling with smoke and I'm wheezing and so is Ianto and I hurry down the corridor clinging tightly to his hand and we go round a corner and then another and then we're in a mass of people or rather creatures since they aren't all Human and we're all running and running and the smoke is following us and meeting us around bends and some of the creatures trip and fall down and I hear them cry out as others run over them treading on their hands and their limbs and their heads and blood runs along the corridor following our flight and those in front stop suddenly and others fall on top of them because they can't stop running and I stop moving holding onto Ianto and press us against a wall and creatures are falling and screaming and the Guards in their Red uniforms appear shooting indiscriminately and more and more creatures fall down and the corridor runs with blood and bodily fluids and then there is a massive flash of blue light and the Guards fade out and leave nothing of their presence except a black pool of viscous liquid and I look down at my chest and there is a huge hole there and I can see my rib cage and I'm covered in blood and it's shooting out of me like a fountain and I'm standing in a puddle of it and I look at Ianto and he is covered in blood and I don't know if it's mine or his and I can taste blood in my mouth and I can see my own heart beating and beating and then it slows----and slows--and slows----and slows and I look at Ianto I look at Ianto and he's still upright I know he's unhurt he is covered in my blood----my heart is stopping--stopping----I am dead again I know I am dead and I fall into the darkness that is death except it's not dark it's so bright the light hurts my eyes and I screw them half shut and then I'm standing up and I'm in the Hub I'm in the Hub and I can see Owen and Tosh and Gwen and they're working busily and I call out to them but they don't hear me and I think they got home they're in the Hub they got back everything's going to be fine and then I walk forward and I'm in another corridor and it's the Hospital in Cardiff and I walk into a room and there they are again Tosh and Gwen and Owen and now Ianto is with them and I think he got Home he got Home but where am I and they're gathered around a bed and I look at the bed and I am lying there white and still and I know I'm dead and I think----SO I DIED AT LAST---and the blackness is calling me and I welcome it because I have died I HAVE DIED AT LAST AT LAST-----OH HEAVEN DEAD AT LAST-----


	9. Tomorrow is another day.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is told in the first person by Ianto.

I still can't believe what's happened. I can't believe it. I have to keep looking at his body to convince myself I haven't dreamed it all, but when I go and look, there he is, white and still. After the chaos of the takeover of the Xrpten ship it was a while before all the dead bodies were collected and transported over to the Earth Vessel that had, I discovered later, been following us for some time. I had no idea the Earth of the 51st Century was so well equipped. In my ignorance I pictured the Earth destroyed and left barren and bare. I was surprised to learn that only a few places had actually been attacked. It had been a quick strike primarily to obtain slaves for the Xrpten Home World.

Now I am fine and have new clothes and a cabin all to myself and he is in a drawer in the ship's morgue. It shouldn't be this way. I should be dead and he should be alive. Wasn't he immortal after all? Did the privations of the voyage effect his immortality? I don't know. All I know is he is dead and I am alive and thriving. I don't know if I can live without him, if I can go on. I can't believe that he is gone.

I have been allowed to get in touch with Jack's Family on Earth and, with my increasing knowledge of 51st Century English, I managed to tell them what had happened. They had already buried Jack's Great Grandfather and knew some of what was going on. I had to give them the sad news. It was heartbreaking. They just got him back and now he's gone for good. I don't know how I am going to get back to my own time and, at the minute, I don't really care what happens to me.

I go to the morgue once more and ask to see his body. People are wandering in and out of the place all the time and I am starting to recognize the same faces who, like me, go again and again. The Attendant opens his drawer and I gaze at his face, so still, so white, so devoid of life. I shed tears and lean over and kiss his cold lips and touch his frozen cheeks. At first he just looked as if he was sleeping but now he really looks dead and I know he is gone. After all those deaths he endured. After all the stabbings and shootings and stranglings and everything else, this time he is gone. I know he didn't believe in an after life but I have doubts. I half believe. I would like to believe there is something special waiting for us after our bodies die. I'd like to think that if I died I would meet him somewhere and we could spend eternity together.

I keep thinking of all the times we spent together. I keep hearing his voice in my head--the way he said my name--the way he smiled---I ache all over from wanting him----if I believed in a soul I would gladly sell it to the Devil to get one more moment with him. I thought I loved before I met him but I was wrong--the way I felt for him was all encompassing---it was like I found a part of me that was missing before and now I have lost it forever---I know if I live to be an Hundred there will never be another Jack in my life. I want to die. I want to die because I can't endure the way I feel. I have lost him and I have lost myself too--I can't see myself when I look in a mirror--I am a shadow without substance--he was my anchor and now he is gone----.

I look at his face, so still, and wonder what he thought in those seconds before he died. He was terribly injured. I was covered from head to foot in his blood. There was a huge hole in his chest and all his ribs were broken. Even then I didn't think he was dead for ever. I thought he would recover as he has done so many times before. I was wrong. It's been over a month now and he's still dead. He is really gone this time and I must accept the inevitable. They made him look presentable before they consigned him to his own drawer in this morgue. They actually stitched his chest wound. I don't know why they bothered. At the time I thought he would wake up after a couple of days and be as good as new. I was wrong.

I push the drawer shut and wonder how I will get home. I wonder if the Black Tardis we came in has somehow been sent back to this time by Owen, Tosh and Gwen. It's been so long since I've seen them. I tell myself that it'll be great to see them again, but I don't really care that much. Without Jack, I don't care that much about anything. I go back to my cabin and sit on the bed and think about Jack. He was always so alive and so THERE. I can't live without him. I can't face years and years and years without him. I might live another 60 years or more. How can I endure all that time without him? We have been told there is not far to go now and in a few days we'll be home. I have to go to Jack's family with his body. He'll be cremated and that'll be that. Well, I think, Jack wanted to go home. Now he'll be home forever, literally. I'd really like to take him back to my Earth, to the Hub, just in case---just in case some day he wakes up. I still hope----somewhere deep inside there is still that tiny spark of hope---

I don't know how I'll live without him. I can't endure it. It's the worst thing. I take the gun out of the bathroom Cabinet. I took it off a dead body and it's been hidden in several places since. I feel its weight in my hand. I check to make sure it's loaded. It is. I have gone through this ritual dozens of times ---I do it again and again. I put the barrel against my forehead and squeeze the trigger. It is a blank. Again. There is only one bullet in this old gun. I put it down and lie face down on the bed and sob. My tears soak the bed. I can never shed enough tears for him and my face feels heavy with them all the time. How can I go on living without him? He was the other half of me and together we made a perfect whole and now he's gone----I can't believe that I'll never see him smile again--never feel the warmth of his body--never hear his voice---I have suddenly realized what it must have been like for him for years and years----loving and loosing again and again and again---knowing that he would outlive those he loved-----I don't know how he could bear it----

I get up and wash the tears off my face and return the gun to the Cabinet. I have made a bet with myself. One try each day with the gun. I'm still alive. It's all so unfair. HE should be alive. WHY isn't he alive? I wish I was with him wherever he is now. If it's paradise or hell or nothing, I don't care. I want to be with him. I'll try again tomorrow. Perhaps the bullet will find my brain and this agony will be over. I long for it to be over. We were soul mates. We found each other and we were meant to be together. How I wish I was with him now. Wherever he is. I'll try again tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.


	10. Together. For ever.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jack and Ianto are reunited.

Prologue.

Ianto arrived back on Earth and was Transported, together with Jack's body, to Jack's home town, where he was reunited with Jomah, Annalee and Granton. They all looked older than he remembered, as if the news of Jack's death had aged them 10 years overnight. Jomah, who Jack called Pa, looked especially old and so did Granton, Jack's Father. Even Annalee looked drawn and sad. Jack, in his white metal coffin, was soon lying in state in the Local Morgue and the moment he could escape from the Lederbergs, Ianto went over there and spent hours with Jack's lifeless body.

Desperation gave Ianto strength however and he implored the Lederberg family to let him take Jack back home with him. To his immense surprise they agreed. ''We know he belongs with you" Granton said, calmly "we've said our goodbyes so you take him, son, take him home.'' Ianto knew enough 51st Century English to understand them and suddenly felt an overwhelming love for them all. He was glad Jack had had those moments with his family before he died. He had gone home and seen them before he went. Ianto was grateful that Jack had, at least, had that.

Finally, they all went to the Field where months ago Ianto and the others had arrived in the 51st Century and Jack had excitedly recognized his home town. Beside the shining edifice of Jake's Tower stood a familiar black cube. Ianto waved his hand past the anomaly Tosh had identified all that time ago and, as before, the side of the cube slid open. They carried Jack's Coffin inside and Ianto shed tears as he said goodbye, knowing none of them would ever meet again.

 

Ianto.

Well. I am home. I took Jack home to the Hub. Owen, Gwen and Tosh were all there and told me about their adventures getting home. I hardly heard them as my thoughts were inevitably all with Jack. MY Jack. He is in a Drawer now. In storage. Just in case he awakes. I feel now that he is gone for ever. Immortality left him somewhere in Outer Space and he became mortal and died. Often he told me how he longed for Death and now he is gone. Death has claimed him and I am ready now to go wherever he has gone. I go down to his quarters, where we spent so many happy hours, and sit on his bed. It is still untidy and I lean down and sniff the bedding and I can almost smell him, he seems so near when I am here. I take the gun out of my pocket. I sit holding it. It is cold and hard. I spin the chamber. I put the gun against my forehead. I slowly squeeze the trigger----------

The explosion seems far away, yet near at the same time. I feel the bullet enter my brain. I fall backward on the bed. My eyes are open and I see a fountain of blood shooting upward. I can see the ceiling. It's getting nearer--it's falling toward me---it's going to squash me to the bed----I can hear my breath coming in short gasps---my eyes are still open----then I see----I see in a cloud of brilliant white light-----a being full of brilliance----the light blinds me and I screw up my eyes----then I open them again and I am in a field of bright red flowers--there is a faint breeze stirring--the flowers move in the breeze---I walk slowly through the long grass---in the far distance I can see the lights of a City--it floats above the ground on invisible wings-----I walk toward the City-----then I see a figure--running--running---getting nearer and nearer----and it's Jack-----it's MY JACK-----he is running to me----his long coat--the same old coat he always wore---flies out behind him in the breeze---he is near----so near-----and then the darkness--THE DARKNESS COMES----I see him no more-----

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is Owen, bending over me. I reach up my hand and touch my head and I can feel bandages. My head aches and feels heavy. Owen is here. I am alive. I didn't find Jack. He was so near I could almost feel his breath upon me. ''You saved me'' I say to Owen.

''Near thing'' Owen remarks, looking pleased with himself ''I did a really great job with that bullet though. You miss fired too which helped. I'm surprised you didn't wake up before now. You've been out for three days.''

Only three days. I was near Jack. I nearly reached him. He was running to me. He was running to me and Owen brought me back and he's PLEASED. I am so mad with him I could kill him. ''I wanted to go" I tell him.

''Jack wouldn't have wanted that" Owen says "you don't think so now but in time-----you think I don't know what it's like to loose someone you love. To loose someone you expected to spend a lifetime with, but I do. I've been there. It DOES get better."

''I don't want it to get better" I mumble ''I want Jack.''

''Ianto'' Owen says, calmly ''WE want you here.''

He gives me a drink of water and I sip it slowly. It is cold and tastes delicious. When he goes I shut my eyes and think of Jack. I will never stop thinking of Jack. I know if I live to be One Hundred there will never be another Jack for me. I want to be with him. I want to feel his hot body pressed against mine. I shall love him till the day I die. Owen is wrong. I know it will never get better. I'll always be half a person. My life will be forever just half a life. Time will pass but I wont be living. I shall just be existing. My life will be one long trial with no end in sight. I wish I was dead.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Three months later we are all at work. It's a lovely sunny day and we are all down in the Hub where no sunlight penetrates, working. I have a scar on my forehead. That's all that shows of my futile attempt to join Jack. I haven't tried again. I just live from day to day in a kind of limbo. The sun shines but it never enters my soul, which is perpetually dark. I have moved into the Hub and I sleep every night in Jack's bed. I dream of him. I think of him. He is there always somewhere just out of reach. If only----

Owen goes out with Gwen some place where a strange object has been found in a field. I try to be interested, but I really don't care about anything any more. I don't care. I look at my reflection in a mirror and a stranger looks back at me. A stranger with untidy hair, who hasn't shaved for days and who wears jeans at work. I don't know myself. A stranger looks back at me from the mirror. I decide to have a shower and a shave. I tell myself that Jack wouldn't know me like this. I go and clean up and, in a moment of madness, put on a suit and tie.

I go and open Jack's drawer and look at him. I try to tell myself that he's sleeping and could awake at any moment. I lean over and kiss his frozen lips. He is white and cold and dead. I shed the usual tears and then I suddenly get mad. I straighten up and glare at him and start shouting at him. ''YOU LEFT ME--YOU COLD BLOODED BASTARD---" I scream ''I LOVE YOU AND YOU LEFT ME HERE ALONE FOR EVER---I CAN'T EVEN KILL MYSELF WITHOUT OWEN SAVING ME---I HATE YOU--I WISH I'D NEVER MET YOU--YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE----.'' I go on and on. It's all rubbish but I'm mad with everything and I don't care. I stop and lean over him----I lean over him----and-----and------

 

Jack.

I come out of the blackness to a feeling of great coldness. I can hear a voice shouting just above me. I open my eyes and it's hard opening them but I manage and I recognize Ianto's voice and then he's bending over me and his tears are wetting me and soaking me and I am so cold I start to shudder and I sit up and I feel as stiff as if I had been lying down for a very long time and Ianto is sobbing as he helps me up and I am in the Morgue AGAIN and I remember dying AGAIN and I am alive again alive again and Ianto is so warm on my frozen body as he wraps himself about me and he leads me away and away and down to my bed and I lie down and he lies beside me and he says I have been dead for months and months I can't take it in how long I have been dead this time and he says he tried to die and he saw me and I was running to him and I remember something I was in a place far away and I saw him in the distance and I ran to him and he disappeared and then I fell back into the everlasting dark and now I am here and he is here and we are together and we will never part again and I say that and I feel his warmth moving into me and we kiss and his warm life enters my body and my life enters his and we are one we are one and we will never ever be parted ever again---------

 

Epilogue.

When Owen and Gwen came back from their mission, which turned out to be a false alarm anyhow, Tosh ran to them crying despairingly.

"What the hell has happened?'' Owen asked, as Tosh fell into his arms, sobbing.

''Is Ianto alright?'' asked Gwen, looking worried.

''I found him, downstairs'' sobbed Tosh '' and ----come and see-----you wont believe it---''

They went down to Jack's quarters and saw. The two bodies were wrapped around each other so closely that they couldn't be separated. They were both still warm and flushed with the breathe of life, even though life was extinct. Jack and Ianto. Together. For ever. For eternity at last.

 

THE END.


End file.
